We Apologize For Not Altering The Electrochemical Nature Of The Universe

(A coworker and I are stocking and chatting alongside each other when a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve experienced static electricity several times in the past half-hour I’ve been shopping.”

Me: *exchanging a look with my coworker* “Oh, that’s… unfortunate?”

Customer: “Is that usual around here?”

Me: “Well, yeah. It’s very dry, particularly in the winter, so that’s pretty common.”

(The customer stares at us and we blink back at her for a few moments, not sure what else to say.)

Customer: “Well, I guess you aren’t going to do anything about it, then!”

(The customer harrumphs, turns on her heel, and stomps away.)

Me: “What was I supposed to do, offer to insulate her in petroleum jelly or something?”

Coworker: “She should have stayed in her bubble where it’s safe.”