We All Hail From Coincidenceville

(I am the OP of this story. I’m posting this years later, but this event happened later that same day. I am in the back room, showing off my grandfather’s flag to one of our security officers who trained at the same base my grandfather was stationed at. A coworker calls me to the front.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], this guy is asking about some cigarettes I’ve never heard of. You’re the one who knows where to go if we don’t carry something; can you help him?”

(I get to the front and this guy has a pack of cigarettes that aren’t found in this state, but I have seen them before. My mom and I stopped at a convenience store for gas at one point while waiting on my grandfather’s funeral, and they had a sign advertising a price drop in this particular brand, and the design of the box had caught my eye.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I think you can only get these in Kentucky, maybe in places close to the state line. I’ve only seen one store in Tennessee just last week that has these.”

Customer: “Oh! I’m from Tennessee! That’s so cool; where’d you visit?”

(As my family is from the Appalachian region, it’s filled with some very small towns that most people wouldn’t have heard of, so I have to pause and think of the nearest big city.)

Me: “Uh… do you know where [Town] is? Or New [Town]?”

Customer: “I’m from New [Town]!”

Me: “I was in [Smaller Town] last week! My grandpa was [Grandpa]!”

(The customer’s face lights up with recognition when I say that.)

Customer: “YOU’RE [DAD]’S DAUGHTER! I go to church with your father; he’s always talking about you! I forgot where he said you lived, but I knew it was around here somewhere! How is everyone up there?”

Me: “Not so good. I just got back from grandpa’s funeral; it’s my first shift since last Wednesday.”

Customer: “What?! [Grandfather] is dead?! No one told me he’d been sick! You have a great day, [My Name]. I need to go call my brother!”

(He hurries out of the store. My coworkers think it is an amazing coincidence, but I just kind of laugh.)

Me: “Pretty sure he’s an alcoholic.”

Coworker: “Why do you say that?”

Me: “He’s clearly not close blood family, or he’d have known about Grandpa’s fall a couple of weeks ago. The only reason I could think he’d be that upset is if he bought Moonshine off him.”