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We Accept Cash Or Credit, But Absolutely Zero Crap

, , , | Right | December 28, 2020

I work in a small motel in a country town. Due to a festival going on, all accommodation within fifty kilometres is booked out. While I’m usually a housekeeper, I’m also trained as a receptionist. Due to the owner having a family emergency, I’m working the front desk when everyone is trying to check in.

My boss has told me not to take crap from anyone. If they’re rude or abusive, get them to leave and don’t be afraid to call the cops.

I’m checking in a guest with another four waiting when what looks to be a brand-new, $50,000 car parks in the driveway, blocking people entering or leaving. A guy in his thirties in an expensive suit walks in and scowls at the wait.

I am talking to the guest I’m checking in.

Me: “Excuse me for a moment.”

She nods as she’s filling out the registration form, so I turn to Suit Guy.

Me: “Sir, you need to move your car.”

Suit Guy: “Just hurry the f*** up and check me in.”

Me: “Sir, I won’t be doing anything for you until you move your car. You’re blocking the driveway.”

Suit Guy: “B****, just do your job and check me in. I don’t have time for this s***.”

Me: “Sir, you need to watch your language. Now either move your car or I’ll have the police move it.”

He goes bright red but stomps out, slamming the door as he leaves. I finish checking in the current guest, and I have just called up the next, an elderly lady, when he storms back and pushes the lady out of the way.

Suit Guy: “Now check me in.”

He throws his credit card and ID at me. I take a nice look at his ID so I know who he is, and then I hold them back out to him.

Me: “You have two options. Either you apologise to me and these nice people waiting and wait your turn, or leave.”

Suit Guy: “Listen here, you little s***. Check me in right now or you’ll be sorry. You have no idea who I am. I’ll ruin you.”

As he’s saying this, I pick up the phone and start calling the police.

Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name] at [Motel]. I’ve got a guy here that’s been rude and has assaulted a guest.”

The suit guy goes white and runs out. I tell the police he’s left so it’s not an emergency, but I’d like to make a report. I apologise to the guests. I finally get everyone checked in and the cops turn up. The lady the guy pushed doesn’t want to report it, but I make a report and the police tell me to call them if he comes back.

I’ve already resold his room and informed my boss as to what’s happened when he comes back three hours later.

Suit Guy: “Now, are you going to stop being a b**** and check me in, or are we going to have a problem?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re fully booked. You need to leave immediately.”

Suit Guy: “Look here, you little s***. I booked this room months ago. Now, do your f****** job and check me in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but when you assaulted another guest and verbally abused me, your reservation was cancelled and the room resold. The police have already taken a report, so unless you want to be arrested, I suggest you leave. Oh, and good luck getting a room close by.”

I pick up the phone and call the cops while he starts yelling.


I ignore him as I speak into the phone.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] at [Motel]. As you can hear, the guy is back.”

Suit Guy: “You’ve got no proof I’ve done anything wrong. I’ll have you fired and sue you and this s***hole for this. Who do you think people will believe? Some stupid little s*** or me, a guy who’s got more money than you can dream of?!”

I’m told that officers are on their way and hang up.

Me: “Well, considering those two security cameras record sound as well as video, I’m pretty sure it’ll be me.”

I spot the police car pulling up; it’s a small town with the station about 400 metres away.

Me: “Now, I think these gentlemen would like a word with you.”

He was twice the alcohol limit for driving — cameras showed him driving as he’d once again parked in the driveway — and had drugs in his system. He was also charged with assaulting the lady and arrested accordingly!

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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