Way Cooler Than Whatever His Real Name Is

One day, my siblings and I go with my mother to pick up my little cousin from daycare. My cousin mispronounces his last name as “Captain,” which my mom finds adorable. When we get to his daycare, a woman announces over a loudspeaker, “[Cousin’s Full Name], dismissal! [Cousin’s Full Name], dismissal!”, and they bring him out.

As we’re walking through the parking lot, my mom, as usual, asks my cousin, “What’s your name?” This time, he answers, “[Cousin] Captain Missile!”