Waxing Lyrical About Modern Beauty Standards

I am helping a customer in our beauty aisle.

Customer #1: “I need to wax my legs, but I’m on a long trip, so I need to be able to do it from my hotel room at the halfway point.”

Me: “This waxing kit might be best for that then, as you just need to—”

Before I can finish my explanation, another customer nearby lurches toward me without warning and slaps the waxing kit out of my hand.

Customer #2: “You shouldn’t be bowing to the patriarchy! Natural women are beautiful, and we don’t need to pluck and preen ourselves just for the approval of the male gaze!”

I blink a couple of times at how well-rehearsed that sounded.

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch me or any merchandise I may be holding.”

Customer #2: “You shouldn’t be selling those, anyway! They’re just upholding unrealistic beauty standards for women!”

Me: “That’s your opinion, ma’am, but it doesn’t entitle you to interfere with my discussion with another customer.

She ignores me and turns to my [Customer #1].

Customer #2: “Why do you think you’re ugly?”

Customer #1: “I… don’t? I just want to wax my legs!”

Customer #2: “You poor, poor, brainwashed girl.”

Customer #1: “Ooh! Brainwash! I need some [allergen-free] shampoo, too! Thanks!”

Customer #2: “…thanks? Wait!”

[Customer #1] darted off to another aisle before [Customer #2] could respond. I managed to use the confusion to get away, too!