Watership Down With GM Pet Food

, , | Friendly | July 15, 2017

(A couple we’re friends with is hosting a board game party. They own rabbits they currently keep on the balcony. During a game break, the girlfriend steps outside to feed the rabbits. A few seconds later, a dog on the street starts barking loudly.)

Other Friend: *wide-eyed* “What the h*** have you been feeding those rabbits?!”

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  • Deadpool
    • Max

      I think my mother had that one for a pet for like, a month before handing it over to the RSPCA because it drew blood.

      • Lita

        What did your mother do to the rabbit to make it draw blood? I’ve had some pissy buns and as long as you pay attention it ain’t hard to tell when to leave them alone.

        • Max

          I have no idea, this was before I was born and the main explanation I’ve ever been able to get from any member of my family was that Snowball was some kind of demon rabbit.

          • Anne

            Was there a sonic pest repeller in the house?

          • Dave Harmon

            Someone probably tried to rub it under the chin. For rabbits, that usually gets you a reflex bite. (Even if the bun is otherwise utterly sweet and affectionate.)

    • Christine Wood

      I volunteer my sister.

  • ShadeTail

    …?

    Would I understand this if I had ever read/watched Watership Down? Because as it is, this just whooshes past me.

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      As the friend was going to feed the rabbits, a nearby dog started barking and the friend mistakenly believed the barking came from the rabbits.

      • Nightshade1972

        My take on it is that the friend was making a joke that the dog was barking at the rabbits because of their size, as in “WTH have you been feeding those rabbits (to make them grow big enough to intimidate a dog)?”

      • TheWonderRabbit

        I thought the friend assumed the dogs were barking at the food, which would be unusual as dogs are primarily carnivorous but rabbits are herbivorous, so the rabbits must be fed on meat or something.

    • Matt Westwood

      “Watership Down. You’ve read the book, you’ve seen the film, now taste our pie!”

  • Lita

    I hope they are only outside for short periods of time and not in cages… rabbits need a lot of room and do not do well outside.

    • Jackie Fauxe

      It could be that they have the run of the balcony. If the balcony is set up in such a way that no predators can get in (cats, birds, etc), and the temperature is mild, it could be a decent setup.

      If they’re in an unprotected balcony and/or in cages, though, that would be an entirely different story.

  • Matt Westwood

    I’m confused, what has this got to do with a board game? Are you playing Bunnies and Burrows or something?

    • Christine Wood

      It’s not very clear but I think Other Friend might have mistakenly thought that Friend had trained the rabbits to bark.

      • Matt Westwood

        But the board game?

        • Zack Wagoner

          Jeebus, enough with the nitpicking; it’s just a small detail explaining why the group was together.

          • TheWonderRabbit

            Groups need reasons to be together?

  • Flami

    Ha! My cousins used to have a really fat rabbit in a cage.

  • Christine Wood

    One night when I was little, my rabbit started screaming from the back yard. I had no idea that rabbits could make noises so my family was curious as to what was going on. My dad took a flashlight and ordered our big dog Princess to follow. He got halfway down the walk when he realized she wasn’t following. My mom tried pushing her forward but backed off when the shivering dog peed herself and bolted back into the house. My dad saw this and promptly forced everyone back inside. My rabbit stopped screaming a few minutes later. She was fine, just spooked. We later learned another cougar had moved into the area. Princess might have just saved my dads life.

    • Matt Westwood

      An inability for a grown adult to fight off a cougar is something to be concerned about indeed.

      • Zack Wagoner

        Really? An unarmed human vs. a great cat roughly equivalent to a slightly smaller lion/tiger?

        • Matt Westwood

          Rubbish. Cougars are far smaller that tigers.

          • Zack Wagoner

            They’re still 160-220 pounds of vicious ambush predator. I don’t care if you’re a Gurkha, the odds are decidedly not in your favor if you go the hand-to-claw route.

          • Alex Horton

            Ignore Matt, he likes to put other people down so he can feel better about his sad self. Could have sworn I’d blocked him before this.

          • Frédéric Purenne

            you probably blocked him on facebook, not disqus.

      • Christine Wood

        He had considered shooting it but animal control ’round these parts are very territorial pr!(ks and would have made a huge stink on the issue since wild life are their area and they get final say. My dad was also a cop so that would have made them even madder as the two departments have a complicated history.

  • Kalu-chan

    I’m kinda sad to read that so many people in the comments seem to have “a” rabbit (singular). Rabbits need the company of other rabbits.