Watering Down The Problem With Milk

(Our cousin has come to visit us at the shop my parents own; we all decide to have lunch at the pub across the road. Our cousin offers to buy us drinks. I am 14 and my cousin is a year older.)

Me: “I’ll have a coke, please.”

(She heads in and soon comes back with the drinks, putting down a glass of milk for herself.)

Me: “You’re drinking milk?”

Cousin: “I have an ulcer, so I have to drink milk.”

Me: “An ulcer? How did you get an ulcer?’

Cousin: “The doctor reckons it’s the alcohol that caused it and told me I have to have milk. I refuse to drink plain milk so I added scotch to it.”