A Bunch Of Xena-phobes

(During lunch, a bunch of coworkers are sharing stories of the most ridiculous names and odd name pronunciations students have had over the years.)

Kindergarten Teacher: “I just got a new girl last week named Xena. Pronounced ‘Z’ena, instead of ‘Ecks’ena.”

Third Grade Teacher: “What the heck kind of name is that?”

Me: “It’s Greek. There was a really popular show about a princess named Xena back in the 90s. I think they’re remaking it, too.”

Third Grade Teacher: “Never heard of it.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “How am I supposed to teach them phonics if their parents can’t even spell their names properly?”

Me: “How are they spelling it?”

Kindergarten Teacher: “X-E-N-A.”

Me: “That’s how you spell it.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Then it should be pronounced ‘Ecks-ena.’”

Me: “No. ‘Z’ena is how you pronounce it.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “That’s not the sound an ‘X’ makes. ‘X’ says ‘cks.’”

Me: “Not when it starts a word.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “What? No that’s wrong.”

Me: “Think about it: Xerox, xenophobia…”

Third Grade Teacher: “What about X-Ray?”

Me: “That’s different. That’s hyphenated… Oh! What about xylophone? That’s the most common ‘X’ word you teach kids, isn’t it?”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Well, yeah… but…”

Third Grade Teacher: “I know people who pronounce it ‘ecks’ylophone.”

Me: *shocked silence*