Wasn’t Alerted To Her Character Death

(It’s about three months after my mother-in-law, who is estranged from all her kids and grandchildren, died. I get a call from a medical alert company. This is a company you pay a fee to and you wear a bracelet or necklace with a button that, when pressed, has medical help dispatched to your home. The rep who calls me asks if I am the daughter-in-law. I confirm and ask why he is calling me.)

Company Representative: “Well, we lost contact with your mother-in-law’s medical alert device and wanted to make sure she was okay.”

Me: “Well, considering she’s been dead for three months, I would have to say no.”

Company Representative: *stuttering* “Oh, I… I… am so sorry. I… I hate making calls like this. Again, I am so sorry.”

Me: “You would be the only one.”

Company Representative: “Huh?”

Me: “Look. The woman was an abusive alcoholic. Frankly, there isn’t a person in the family who is sad the evil woman is gone.”

Company Representative: *silence*

Me: “Now, if you are calling about an unpaid bill…” *which is the real reason I figured they called*

Company Representative: “Normally, under these circumstances, we wouldn’t even discuss that, but since you did bring it up. We do need to get the equipment back because she was leasing it.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t help you. None of her kids or family has a key to the house. She left everything to some shyster lawyer who is supposed to sell whatever she had, which wasn’t much, and give the money to charity.”

(I gave the man the lawyer’s number and told him not to call again or bother any other family members. I felt kind of sorry for the guy but some family members said I gave him a great story to tell his coworkers.)