Washing Yourself Free From Physical Assault

(I’m working at an all-new car wash in my hometown, which becomes rather popular very quickly. At the very end of the car wash are some really loud blow dryers, a little traffic light which indicates that the customer can start the engine again and drive off, and a safety light barrier, which shuts down the conveyor belt, if the car is not moving. This should prevent the next car to be pushed into the one standing in the exit. It is a really busy Saturday. My coworkers and I have already washed about 300 cars, when suddenly the conveyor belt stops moving. I am standing at the control desk, which gets the cars moving, so I immediately turn around, and rush down the whole aisle along the conveyor belt. The rest of the car wash is still doing its business, e.g. high-pressure washers and such. Upon reaching the car, which interrupts the safety light barrier, a tall, middle-aged men gets out of his white SUV to inspect why he isn’t moving anymore. I raise my voice to drown out the blow dryers right next to us.)

Me: “PLEASE, GET BACK IN YOUR CAR AND START MOVING!”

(I have to be loud; otherwise, you cannot understand anyone in there.)

Customer: “STOP THE F*** SHOUTING AT ME, YOU F****** A**HOLE!”

Me: “SIR, PLEASE LISTEN UP! YOU HAVE TO GET BACK IN YOUR CAR. YOU’RE HOLDING UP EVERYONE RIGHT NOW!”

Customer: “F*** YOU, YOU LITTLE S***! I’LL COME BACK TO YOU!”

(The customer gets back in his car and drives off onto our vacuum yard right next to the car wash. I get back to the control desk and proceed with my business. The conveyor belt is running again. Suddenly, the customer makes his way into the pre-wash section, locks his eyes with mine, starts to swing his fists around and glares at me with pure hatred. He’s coming to get me. But one of my coworkers and my boss block his way.)

Boss: “Sorry, sir, what’s the problem? I’m the manager, right here.”

Customer: “F*** you! You should f****** know who you hire!”

(The customer grabs my boss by his arms and wants to move him out of the way by pure force. My coworker, a big but strong man, tackles the angry customer to the ground, gets him back up, and literally throws him out of the pre-wash section.)

Coworker: *to me* “None of your business anymore.”

Me: “I owe you lunch.”

(Afterwards the customer called the police, stated that he was assaulted, and threatened us with legal trouble. We showed the officers the incident on tape, and they left with a laugh.)