Warning: Nuts Contain Nuts

(I work at a somewhat larger bakery chain in Germany, and I am alone when this happens. A lady comes to the counter and points to a plunder — pastry.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “That’s our nut plunder.”

Customer: *quiet for a bit* “Does it contain nuts?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, our nut plunder contains nuts.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t have it, then; I am allergic to nuts. What’s this?” *points to our gingerbread cake*

Me: “That’s our gingerbread cake with cherries, but if you are allergic to nuts I would advise you not to buy it; it may contain some, and it’s lying next to a cake with lots of nuts in it.”

Customer: “Oh, I know that one. But it doesn’t have nut pieces.”

Me: “Yes, that is true, but it still may contain some nuts; plus, it’s lying next to a nut cake.”

(At this point there are five customers waiting.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you still need some time to decide, may I help another customer?”

Customer: “No, I need that cake right now.” *silence for the next thirty seconds* “Does the nut cream cake have nuts in it?”

(At this point I am not sure if she just wants to mess with me, and the other customers are looking annoyed or amused.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the nut cream cake contains nuts. Maybe you would like to try our cherry cake? Or maybe the poppy seed cake? Neither contains nuts, and the poppy seed cake is on sale right now…”

Customer: “No, I want to choose myself.”

(Another while of her staring at the cakes…)

Customer: “But the gingerbread cake doesn’t have nut pieces.”

(The other customers groan.)

Me: “That is true, but like I said—”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I know, the cake next to it has nuts.”

(This went on for what felt like an hour. Other customers left. I asked her to let me help her decide or help the other customers first, but she kept denying me. After a while, with the help of another customer, she finally decided to buy some poppy seed cake.)