Warehouse Staff Brains All Stuffed With Fluff

(I work the guest services line at the call center for the [Cartoon Brand] catalog. We have begun selling ‘[Bear]Grams,’ which are ‘[Bear]’ teddy bears dressed up in costumes for holidays and special occasions. The holiday ‘[Bear]Grams’ always sell out and we frequently worry that they won’t be delivered on time. The situation is the worst for Easter, but finally, a few days before Easter, the warehouse receives a large shipment of Easter ‘[Bear]Grams’ and is able to ship all of the orders out in time. A week or two after Easter, I receive a call from a woman who is obviously in emotional turmoil.)

Customer: “I need help.”

Me: “How may I help you? Is everything all right?”

Customer: *continuing to cry* “Well, a few weeks ago, my family and I were scheduled to leave for vacation and my best friend got sick and went into the hospital. She assured me she would be fine and that we should not miss our vacation due to her minor illness. I called and ordered her a ‘Get Well [Bear]Gram’ and we headed out for our vacation. By the way, we’re Jewish.”

(I think: ‘what does THAT have to do with anything?’)

Customer: “While we were gone, my friend took a turn for the worse and died. My husband and I flew back for the funeral. Afterwards, I was talking to her sister and she said, ‘she really loved the “Easter [Bear]Gram” you sent her.'”

Me: *noticing that my manager is walking by* “Ma’am, I am so sorry. Can you hold on for one moment?” *I hit the hold button and turn frantically* “[Manager]! WE SENT A DYING JEWISH WOMAN AN ‘EASTER [Bear]GRAM’!”

Manager: *shock and confusion writ large across her face* “What? Give her back all of her money. Do whatever she needs you to do!”

(Obviously, in the Easter frenzy, the warehouse employees ‘decided’ that all of the ‘[Bear]Gram’ orders must be for Easter, and instead of sending the requested ‘Get Well [Bear]Gram,’ they did indeed send a dying Jewish woman an ‘Easter [Bear]Gram.’ Sometimes the customer is very, very right.)