War Of The Roses

(My boyfriend has promised to see me during my play, but now can’t make it for family reasons. To make it up to me, he buys me a bouquet of white roses. He comes over to my parents’ place, where I live.)

Boyfriend: *kneeling* “Oh, my darling, if only words could put together the utmost regret I have for failing you at one of your brightest moments. Let these white roses symbolize my sincerest apologies and my earnest adoration for you.”

Me: “Heh, laying it on thick, I see.”

Boyfriend: “I try. Only the best for my sweetie-kins.”

(As my boyfriend hands me the roses, my mother smacks my dad in the arm while sitting beside her.)

Dad: “Ow! What did I do?”

Mom: “How come you never do that kind of thing for me?!”

(Some time later, my mom puts my boyfriend’s roses in a vase to freshen up my room.)

Mom: “You know, legend has it that cut flowers live longer if the person that gave them to you really loves you.”

Me: “Aw, that’s sweet! Daddy gave you flowers recently, didn’t he?”

Mom: “…yeah, those only lasted for two days.”

(Mine last for more than two weeks.)