Wants The Man At The Top Even If He’s Six Feet Below

I work in a law firm that is about to celebrate its 125th anniversary. The firm was started by three lawyers, hence the firm’s name is made of the three lawyers’ surnames: “[Lawyer #1], [Lawyer #2], and [Lawyer #3], LLP.” I’m working near the dispatch operator when this call comes in.

Dispatch Operator: “[Firm], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m trying to reach [Firm].”

Dispatch Operator: “Yes, you have reached our office. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to talk to a lawyer at [Firm].”

Dispatch Operator: “Okay, which one?”

Caller: *Vaguely* “Oh, one of the main ones.”

Dispatch Operator: “I’m sorry, but we have nearly forty lawyers here. Do you have a name of someone I could direct your call to?”

Caller: “I need to talk to [Entire Firm Name].”

Dispatch Operator: “Yes, and as I’ve said, you have reached our office. Do you know what the client matter is? Maybe I can see who is handling a certain case?”

Caller: *Upset* “Can I just talk to Mr. [Lawyer #1], Mr. [Lawyer #2], or Mr. [Lawyer #3]? It’s really important! Just send me to one of them!”

Dispatch Operator: “…I’m sorry, but all three of those men have since passed away.”

Caller: “What?!”

Dispatch Operator: “I said, I’m sorry, but all three of those men passed away, a long time ago.”

Caller: “But it’s the name of the business! They can’t be!”

Dispatch Operator: “Our office has been open for nearly 125 years. None of them could possibly be here to take your call. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: *Dejected* “I guess not.” *Click*