Wants To See People In Their Totality

(Living in Portland, my job has had a massive influx of people trying to get a better look at the 2017 solar eclipse. Most have come very early to avoid traffic, and many are trying to find something to do while they wait. Two days before the eclipse, I have this interaction:)

Me: “Hi, do you have [rewards card]?”

Customer: “No, we’re just in town for the week. You know, the eclipse. Do you like bouncy balls?”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

Customer: “Well, here’s a bouncy ball I had left over.” *holds up a bouncy ball*

Me: “Ah, thanks.”

Customer: “But in exchange, you have to tell me the name of the best strip club in town.”

Me: “…Uh, dunno.”

Customer: “They all that bad?”

Me: “No, that’s just not my thing.”

Customer: “So… you’re…?”

Me: “Nope. Straight.”

Customer: “…So, then—”

Me: “Here’s your receipt, sir, have a nice day.”