Wanting The Bread Buttered On Both Sides

(I haven’t done much retail work, but the one thing I did was as a cashier in a bakery. One day an elderly lady comes in carrying half a loaf of bread in a dish towel. I should note that shrimp salad is a sort of cheese-like spread with tiny chunks of shrimp in it.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I bought this bread yesterday and it has a hole in it.”

(She then unwraps the half-loaf and shows it to me. It does indeed have an air bubble around the size of a coin.)

Customer: “I was wondering if I could have a refund?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But I can’t give you a refund, as you have already eaten part of the product.”

Customer: “But my shrimp salad falls through the hole. Do you think you could give me a new loaf, then, in return for this one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, either.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, can you write a note to the baker himself, and tell him that this bread had a hole in it?”

(I promised her that I would, and she left with her hole-y bread. Bless her heart, she was so sweet and patient about it, and I really wanted to just give her a new bread, but I knew I couldn’t.)