Wanted A Refund, But Scratch That

(A familiar looking lady approaches the front counter, but I can’t remember where I’ve seen her before. She speaks briefly to a colleague that is manning the front counter, who comes over to me.)

Colleague: “This lady wants to return this DVD because she claims it doesn’t work. Take a look at the disc.”

(I take a look at the disc, and it is severely scratched.)

Me: “Well, that’s clearly why it’s not working. Did she say she bought it like that?”

Colleague: “Yeah. She said she opened it and the disc was already like that.”

(All of our DVDs come with security seals which are unlocked when purchased, so I know this isn’t the case. I look at the DVD title in our system, and notice we have not sold any in the last four weeks. I remember this same customer has tried to return DVDs in the same condition before.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How are you today? Now, were you the customer that was after a refund for this DVD?”

Customer: “Yes, it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay. Now did you have a receipt for it? That way I can clear up a few things.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt! I didn’t think I’d need one!”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. Now when did you purchase this DVD?”

Customer: “Last week! Why is this even an issue?”

Me: “Well, I have just checked our records. It shows that we haven’t sold a copy of this DVD is over a month. So, either you’re lying to me, or you’ve stolen it. In either case, you are definitely not getting a refund, and I suggest you leave this store immediately. I’ll be sure to ring all neighbouring stores, informing them that you’re attempting to get a refund on a product that you may not have even bought. Is that all for today?”

(The customer snatches the DVD, and runs out of the store. I ring the store closest to us. Two hours later, I receive a phone call saying they caught her, and she is wanted for 12 other charges!)