Walking The Talk While The Employee Gawks

(This happened about 26 years ago when I was one year old. According to my mother, I looked like a newborn at that age. In this story, my mom has taken my older brother and me shoe shopping. She’s carrying me because, although I can walk, I have no appropriate shoes. At the shoe store, my mom picks out a pair of walking shoes for me and turns to the sales clerk.)

My Mom: “I’d like these in this size, please.”

Employee: *looks at me* “She doesn’t need them. She’s too young to walk.”

My Mom: “She is walking, and needs a pair of shoes.”

Employee: “That can’t be! She’s too little to be walking!”

(My mom sees my older brother on the other side of the store and sets me down.)

My Mom: “[My name], go to [my brother].”

Me: *walks to my brother*

My Mom: “[My name], come back.”

Me: *walks back**

My Mom: “So, I’d like those shoes in this size, please.”

Employee: *quietly goes to get my shoes*