Waiting For Pizza: The Ultimate Torture

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2019

(I stop in at a local, extremely popular pizza place for a couple of slices. The place is pretty empty at the moment, but there are stacks of pizzas being prepped for delivery or awaiting pickup because the first US football game of the season is underway. While I’m waiting, a woman comes barging in and storms up to the counter.)

Woman: “WHERE ARE MY PIZZAS?!”

Cashier: “How long ago did you order them?”

Woman: “It’s been over an hour! I’m sick of waiting!”

Cashier: “Oh, wow, I’m so sorry. What phone number did you call it in under? What did you order?”

(The woman nearly screams everything at her, but by the time she’s done the girl isn’t even typing anything. She turns around, grabs a ticket from the rack, and turns back.)

Cashier: “Thirty-five minutes.”

Woman: “What?”

Cashier: “All our order tickets are time-stamped, and this one was printed thirty-five minutes ago, not an hour. Also, I told you it would be ‘between a half-hour and forty-five minutes’ because of how busy we are. Also, the delivery driver just left with them; you probably passed him coming in.”

(The woman instantly begins freaking out, screaming, and — for “revenge,” I suppose — knocks over their little holder of take-out menus before storming back out. I bend down and help them pick up the menus while my slices are getting taken out of the oven.)

Cashier: “Thanks for the help.”

Me: “No problem. I don’t always get dinner and a show! But did she really think she was going to get a pizza with this much of a rush in under a half-hour?”

Cashier: “Some folks still think it’s the mid-80s and that ‘thirty minutes or it’s free’ still applies, even to places that never advertised it.”

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