Waiter Hater

(I’m eating dinner next to an older woman and her daughter, who is probably in her early 20s.)

Waiter: “Hi, have you decided on what you’d like?”

Woman: “Which do you recommend, the fettuccine or the eggplant parm?”

Waiter: “Oh, they’re both very good, but I enjoy the fettuccine very much. It’s very creamy and the chicken is delicious.”

Woman: “Then I’ll have the eggplant parm.”

(The waiter writes everything down and leaves.)

Daughter: “Mom, why did you even ask if you’re not going to take his recommendation?”

Woman: “So I’ll know what not to order. We do not eat food that waiters eat. They’re waiters, for God’s sake. They can’t get real jobs.”