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Waiter Hater

, , , , , | Right | August 17, 2010

(A man and his girlfriend walk into our restaurant.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [Restaurant]. I’ll be your server tonight.”

Customer: “Yeah. What happened to your nose?”

(I instinctively touch my nose to feel if anything is wrong with it.)

Customer: “Gotcha! I made you touch your nose.”

Me: “Yes, very amusing, sir. Now may I interest you in–”

Customer: “Your zipper is undone.”

Me: “Oh, but I’m not wearing pants with a zipper.”

Customer: “But you probably didn’t notice your pants are split open!”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “I’m sorry. I should have just left him at home with a bowl of kibble and water.”

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