Wait Until You Meet John Smith

(I’ve changed the name for the sake of privacy.)

Me: “[State Agency] Services, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, my name is Terri Brown. I need to know who my worker is.”

(I proceed to look him up. It is a state-wide search so a few results under “Terri Brown,” and the longer version of his name, “Terrance Brown,” show up.)

Me: “Okay, there are a few Terri Browns on here. Can you please give me your date of birth?”

Caller: “TERRANCE Brown. T-E-R-R-A-N-C-E.”

Me: *as nice as possible* “I understand, sir. There are multiple entries in our state search. I need to make sure which one you are.”

Caller: “There are other Terrance Browns? Really?”

Me: “Yes. It is a state search. Can I have your birth date please?”

Caller: *gives birthdate* “I can’t believe it. Other people with my name. Crazy, right?”

Me: “…”