Not Feline This Training

(My girlfriend and I were talking about stuff in the news when we got onto to a sad story of toddler who was killed by an alligator at a Florida theme park. Note that my girlfriend is an almost militant animal lover as well as getting having enough cats to qualify as a crazy cat lady.)

Girlfriend: “I think it’s so sad. They should just shoot the alligators; kill them all!”

Me: “Honey, the alligators were around long before humans. It’s like killing bears because we’ve moved into their territory.”

Girlfriend: “I don’t care. Alligators are useless. They can’t be trained.”

Me: “So you only value animals if they can be trained?”

Girlfriend: “If they can’t be trained, then shoot them all.”

Me: *under my breath* “I can think of a few cats whose days are numbered.”

Girlfriend: “What?”

Me: “Nothing, dear.”