VIP: Very Inconvenienced Person

Customer: *Handing over a bank card.* “I want to withdraw $1,000.”

Me: “Can I see some ID, please?”

Customer: “I’m a VIP member of the bank; don’t you know who I am?!”

Me: “No, sir, and even if I did, I would still need to see ID for a withdrawal.”

Customer: “I am [Full Name]! You should all recognize me by now based on how much business I do with the bank! Don’t you know how much money I have in here?!”

Me: “How happy would you be if any of that money could be withdrawn by someone who picked up your bank card if you lost it or got your wallet stolen?”

Customer: “It’s still very inconvenient! You should have morning briefings with all the workers here and go over who your VIPs are so you can recognize us on sight!”

Me: “[Bank] currently has over 100,000 customers in the VIP scheme. How long would that meeting be?”

Customer: “100,000? Preposterous! That can’t be right! There should only be like a few dozen of us at most!”

He did eventually show me his ID and make his withdrawal. Meanwhile, I’m laughing at the idea that this guy thinks that because he pays fifty bucks a year for a special VIP account, we’re going to memorize his face and name, and that only a “few dozen” people in the country can afford said fifty bucks a year…