Victory For This Alphabet  

(In the process of moving out of a shared flat in Germany and going back to the UK, I call my ISP to cancel the contract. My flatmate is on the phone with me on speaker.)

Staff: “We just need an address for you in the UK in case we need to be in touch about unpaid bills or anything.”

Me: “Okay, it’s 123 Saxon Avenue.”

Staff: “Okay, that’s 123 [badly pronounced take on the address].”

(I suspect it isn’t spelled correctly, so I ask the staff member to read it back to me, letter by letter, and it is a bit mangled.)

Me: “Sorry, I’ll go over that again letter by letter for you just to make sure.”

(I realise that I don’t know the Alpha-Bravo-Charlie alphabet system that well, so I just make up most of the words.)

Me: “That’s 123, S for ‘Sugar,’ A for ‘Alpha,’ X for ‘X-Ray,’ O for, uh, ‘Orange.’”

(For some reason, I am starting to get a serious mental block as I try to come up with words that start with each letter.)

Me: “N for, um, ‘Nuremberg.’”

Flatmate: *stunned silence followed by a suppressed giggling fit*

Staff: *pause* “Okay, and the second word?”

(I am still in a state of disbelief that my brain supplied that particular word to give to a German, but I continue.)

Me: “Okay. Then, it’s Avenue. A for ‘Alpha,’ V for… um… ‘Victory.’”

Flatmate: *bursts out laughing and runs away from the speakerphone*

(I had genuinely no intention to offend the staff member. I face-palmed instantly and they graciously declined to make any comment on my poor choice of words!)