Victoria’s Dam Secret

, , , , , | Related | July 5, 2018

(My parents kindly pick me up at the airport when I come back from a work-related conference in Las Vegas. While on my trip, I went to the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon, and also went to a store that is pretty well-known in the sewing circles for selling gorgeous trims. I spent a lot of money on sewing supplies, as well as touristy gifts. I bring my bags into my parent’s living room in order to hand out the gifts I brought everyone.)

Me: “Hey, Dad! I got your dam mug!”

Dad: “At the dam store?”

Me: “Yeah! While on the dam tour! Wait a sec, and I’ll get it.”

(I open the bag and immediately notice a piece of paper that was not there before. The notice is from TSA, stating that they inspected my bag. No worries, I think, and start to look for my Dad’s mug. I know I had it in a plastic bag, which appears to be right on top. In front of my parents, I pull out the plastic bag and realize it is squishy; it looks to be some of my lace trims at a quick glance. I am confused as to why TSA would take out the trims that were nicely packed in a clear box and throw them into a plastic bag. I open the bag completely to see… it isn’t a bunch of trim. It is a bunch of very pretty, lacy underwear with the tags still on them.)

Me: “Um… These aren’t mine.”

Dad: “And just what exactly did you do in Vegas?”

Mom: *trying hard not laugh* “What on earth are those?”

Me: *pulling out more and more lacy undies* “These are all Victoria Secret?! Where the heck is my stuff?!”

(Sure enough, my stuff was in my bag, but TSA “gifted” me with roughly $300 worth of lacy undies. I tried calling them, but the lady on the other end laughed and told me that if I thought it was theft, to call the cops. I left a report with the cops, but no one else ever claimed the rather large bag of undies. And Dad did get his dam mug.)

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