Vexed, Lies & Videotape

(I am sitting down with my friends at a cafe when some rather loud customers come in. I think they’ve been partying or something, because they won’t stop talking rather loudly and giggling.)

Cashier: “What can I get you ladies?”

Customer #1: “Well, you could stop dressing like a f****** emo for one.”

(The cashier simply has dyed black hair and nails.)

Cashier: “Please stop being rude.”

Customer #2: “Err, no! It’s a free country. We can say what we like, you dumb b****!”

Cashier: “Just stop this.”

Customer #1: “No, get us [order] and get snappy about it, b****, or I’ll tell the manager you hit me!”

Me: “That won’t work! We’ve been watching you!”

Customer #2: “And what the h*** are you gonna do about it, b****? *walks up to me and throws my food on the floor* “Oh, look, you can’t do anything.”

Me: “I can. I know there are cameras here.”

Customer #2: “As. If. You. Slut.”

Cashier: “I’m getting my manager. Hopefully he can sort you out and ban you from here.”

Customer #3: “Oh, come on! We’re paying customers. You can’t throw us out.”

Cashier: “It doesn’t matter; you’re causing a scene and you need to pay for that young woman’s food.”

Customer #1: “As. F***.”

(The manager comes from a back room and looks exhausted anyway so I don’t think he’ll even try to make the girls leave. I get up and go over just in case he needs help.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, your cashier spat in my face, so I think we need a free meal.

Manager: “The only thing you’re getting for free around here is a one-way ticket out of here. I’ve had a really hard time with lots of people are coming in for Christmas. I’ve been up all night and I really just don’t want any hassle.”

Customer #3: “Well, don’t and don’t throw us out.”

(The manager looks almost tired enough to give in. The cashier looks at him horrified as I take my turn.)

Me: “The video cameras have enough footage of you insulting and being violent so I can just call the police right now and have them arrest you.”

(The customers look truly scared. They begin to run, with the cashier and I trying to stop them getting out the door but they throw things from the tables at us, including dishes, vinegar and even chairs. I get a gash on my shoulder and the cashier is struck in the face but they get out.)

Manager: “Don’t worry, I saw their licence.”

(I saw later that they were arrested.)