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Taxing Taxiing, Part 2

| Working | June 7, 2016

(I’ve called a taxi three hours before a domestic flight. I live 20 minutes from the airport, so I figure this will be plenty of time to get there and through security. I get in the cab. A hellfire and brimstone sermon is playing loudly on the radio.)

Taxi Driver: *shouts over radio* “There’s construction, so I’m going to take a shortcut.”

Me: “Sure, cool. Your depot is a few blocks from my house, so you must know the routes to the airport best.”

Taxi Driver: “Yes, yes.”

(I start reading my book and look up to an unfamiliar residential area. I check my GPS and see we’re now 25 minutes in the opposite direction!)

Me: “Um, this is kind of a strange way to get to the airport…”

Taxi Driver: “No problem! No problem, miss! It’s a shortcut.”

Me: “Okay…” *that’s not what my phone says at all*

(A couple minutes pass, and the driver pulls over at a gas station.)

Taxi Driver: “I’m going to stop and ask for directions.”

Me: “I know how to get there, and I have GPS…”

Taxi Driver: *ignores me, gets out and goes to ask the cashier, and then comes back* “Okay! Easy, we’ll take a shortcut.”

(He turns out and goes the wrong way again. Now I’m a little scared.)

Me: “Really, I can set my GPS on the dash if that’s easiest. Or I can read you the directions. Turn north, take exit two—”

Taxi Driver: “No, no. I know how to get there. I don’t know how to use that.”

(He pulls over again by two men walking down the sidewalk.)


(The men look confused and shake their heads. This continues with the next person he passes as well. I seriously consider jumping out of the moving car.)

Me: “Please follow my directions! I know how to get there; I live here. My flight leaves in an hour and ten minutes and I’m going to miss it!”

Taxi Driver: “Oh, okay, fine, FINE! But that’s plenty of time! We can make it there in an hour!”

(Apparently, the guy didn’t know that there’s a cutoff for check-in and baggage long before boarding, as well as TSA. I gave him step by step directions and made it to the airport with six minutes to spare for check-in. He still aggressively demanded a good tip.)

Taxing Taxiing

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