Very Slow Burn

(I am working in a large grocery store on a busy Saturday. Each till has at least eight people in line, and I can’t even see the end of the queue. I am scanning items as quickly as I possibly can and have not made any mistakes. My next customer is a lady with two overflowing carts of groceries, so I greet her and start scanning her items at my usual pace.)

Customer: “SLOW DOWN!”

Me: *startled* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “SLOW DOWN! I don’t like it when you scan my items so quickly.”

(I double check her bill but see no mistakes.)

Customer: “And I like to watch you scan every item so don’t touch another thing until I’m done unloading!”

(The line up is still quite long behind her, and she has barely unloaded any items onto the belt. No amount of reasoning will convince her to let me start scanning her items until she has unloaded each product, one by one.)

Me: *resumes scanning*

Customer: “I said not so fast! Do I have to report you to your manager?”

(In the end I had to scan her items at a snail’s pace, several people change queues, and when she finally pays and leaves she’s still muttering about reporting me to my manager.)

Next Customer: “Please scan my items as quickly as you’d like. I don’t mind!”