Very Sharp Humor

(I’m the cashier. In the middle of scanning and bagging various items for a guest, she asks if I have scissors to remove a tag. I look at her, and just let my eyes glaze over, and drop my voice a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, they don’t let me play with sharp pointy objects anymore.”

(The customer actually stepped back a bit, and I smile.)

Me: “No, really. We can’t have blades or sharp things on the checkout lane; you’ll have to go to customer services to get them to cut off your tags.”

(I did that line several more times over the years and the hardest part was keeping a straight face. Freaked people out every time I could pull it off!)