Very Light On The Differences

(My dad and I are driving home for twelve hours after a vacation. We are both hungry and decide to stop at what we think is a genuine Mexican taqueria, but ends up being a fast food Tex-Mex chain.)

Cashier:“Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Dad: “Well… what’s the difference between the deluxe burrito and the light burrito?

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “…Yeah, okay, but what’s the difference?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “So are they wrapped up in different types of tortillas or something?”

Cashier: “The deluxe burrito is wrapped up in a soft flour tortilla. The light burrito is in a soft flour tortilla.”

Dad: “So… They’re the exact same thing?”

Cashier: “Oh, no no no no no. They’re totally different,”

Dad: “Okay, so how are they different?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “You just listed them as having the exact same ingredients. Are they different sizes or proportions or something?”

Cashier: “No… They’re the exact same…”

Dad: “So they are the exact same?”

Cashier: “No, they’re completely different. Do you think we’re stupid? If they were the same they wouldn’t be on the menu twice!”

Dad:“So they’re totally different?”

Cashier: “Yes!”

Dad: “Can you please explain to me how they are different?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “You just listed all of the same ingredients twice.”

Cashier: “No. I didn’t. I said the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. Then I said the light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad:“…:

Cashier: “…”

Dad: “Can I speak to your manager?”

Cashier: “No.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Cashier: “No.”

(We left at this point. The conversation had gone on for more than five minutes. We ended up eating at the place across the street, which was much cleaner and nicer. The staff could also explain the differences between all of the burritos on their menu.)