Very Jelly Strange

(I am a shift supervisor at a popular chain of supermarkets here in Australia. The store I work at is open six am to midnight, seven days a week. One night, it is just after midnight, we have finished closing the store and are leaving for the day. As I am locking the doors, a car pulls up behind me. A woman, possibly in her late 50s, exits the car.)

Woman: “I’m going to need you to open the doors; I’m in a hurry and am in desperate need for some items.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we close at midnight; however, we reopen at six am if that’s any help.”

Woman: “I need these items now! It’s very important! Just open the store and I’ll be ten seconds!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It’s against company policy.”

Woman: “I am a paying customer, and you don’t want me to go to your competition to do my shopping! I am in a hurry. Now open up!”

Me: “With respect, we don’t want you to take your business elsewhere; however, I can’t open the shop for anyone outside of hours.”

Woman: “So, you are really going to make me wait?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t open until six am!”

(I get into my car and drive off. The woman appears to just sit in the parking lot. Anyway, as it is flu season, I had drawn the short straw and have to be back at five am for the open. On the plus side, I get double time pay; on the down side, as I pull up to work just before five am, the lady is still sitting in the same place as when I left.)

Woman: “Well, it’s about time! I need these items and I need them now!”

Me: “Have you been here all night?”

Woman: “Yes! Just in case you came to your senses and decided to let me in! Now open the store!”

Me: “I am sorry; we don’t open until six am!”

Woman: “Then why are you here?”

Me: “We have a lot of work to do before the store is opened!”

(At six am I open the doors; the woman bursts into the store, and begins running around. I am also manning the checkouts as the checkout operator is running late due to car trouble. The woman runs up to my register and throws down several items, or more specifically, two bags of jelly beans, one roll of masking tape, and one banana.)

Woman: “Next time a customer is in desperate need of items, you do not have the right to go home! You open the shop and you allow the customer to purchase the items they are in a hurry for!”

(She ran out of the shop and drove away very quickly, I guess she had very pressing plans that required jelly beans, masking tape, and a banana.)