Very Green With The Green Fingers
(I work in a garden centre for a major DIY retailer.)
Customer: *in a posh accent* “Excuse me, do you sell reverse osmosis water…”
Me: “N—”
Customer: “Or distilled water?”
Me: “No, sorry, we don’t. What do you want it for?”
Customer: “Well, I have a house plant and I have read that they do not like tap water.”
Me: “That’s right; they prefer rainwater. You could just harvest that.”
Customer: “How would I do that?!”
Me: *stifling a face/palm* “Well… we have water butts over there and buckets on aisle [number], or you could even use one of those pots you’re holding in your hand.”
Customer: “Oh, great, can you direct me to the compost for my house plant?”
Me: “Of course, come this way… What kind of house plant do you have?”
Customer: “One with lots of leaves.”
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