Very Green To This Neighborhood

(I work at a live theatre in a small town, where most of our patrons are elderly and kind. One day, a young male customer comes through the front doors.)

Me: “Good afternoon, can I help you with something?”

Customer: “Yes! I just moved here, and I don’t know anyone. I have to ask you a question.”

Me: “Great, I’d be happy to help you.”

Customer: “I was walking by the theatre and thought that this might be the place to get help.”

Me: “Well, we’d be glad to help if we can. What’s your question?”

Customer: “I’m looking for marijuana.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Weed. Green.”

Me: “Yes, I understand…”

Customer: “Great! So, do you sell it here?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a real business. I can sell you tickets to a show, but we do not sell drugs.”

Customer: *annoyed* “Well, you’re no help! You people are useless! I guess I’ll just go ask some random person on the street since your ‘business’ can’t help me!”

(He angrily stormed out of the store. My colleague and I looked at each other, dumbfounded.)