Very Four-ward

(I am at a house party where the attendees are mostly from my school, which is a very accepting school with a large LGBT+ population. A male stranger from a different school is present, and my classmate and I decide to make friendly conversation with him. Two of our other female classmates, who are dating each other, have just arrived.)

Me: “Hey, there’s [Couple’s Names].”

Stranger: “Who are they?”

Friend: “They go to school with us. They’re dating.”

Stranger: “They’re DATING? That’s awesome.”

(A few minutes later, we are discussing sexual orientation.)

Stranger: “So you’re gay?”

Me: “Not totally gay, but gay enough. I’m bisexual.”

Stranger: “That’s cool! Have you ever talked to [Couple’s Names] about having a threesome?”

(I am shocked at how rude and presumptuous this question is, but I attempt to keep my cool.)

Me: “Um, no. I actually have a girlfriend.”

Stranger: “Oh, cool. So, like a foursome, then?”

(I stand in silence for a few moments.)

Me: “All right, I need a drink.”