Very Con-CERN-ed

Back in 2008, the Large Hadron Collider at CERN was turning on and showing up in the news. It was my mum’s first exposure to particle physics, and so, of course, she aligned herself with all the ‘end of the world’ misinformation that fed all the clickbait at the time.

Mum: “But they said it might make a black hole!”

Me: “Mum, do you know what a black hole is?”

Mum: “Well, no, but I can’t ever think of falling into any kind of hole as a good thing.”

I try my best as a layman to explain what the LHC actually does, and tell her what subatomic particles are for the first time in her life.

Mum: “But… but what happens if all the subatomic particles spill out and get everywhere?”

Me: “Mum, you’re gonna blow a gasket when you find out what you’re made of…”