Very Anal About What They Use

| Right | January 11, 2016

(I’m working the late shift at a local convenience store on a busy high street. Even though we’re surrounded by bars, nothing exciting tends to happen even around this time, 10 pm. The store lead on duty and I are stacking the health and beauty section before the stock take the following morning, when a gentleman, who appears slightly tipsy approaches me. I’m female.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell any lube?”

Me: *looking up beside the condoms. It’s an unusual request and our range is limited so I need to check* “I’m sorry, I don’t think we do. I’ll check with my manager.”

(My manager has overheard and joins the conversation.)

Manager: “No, I’m sorry. we just sell condoms.”

Customer: “Aw, d***. Do you know what else I can use for anal?”

Me: *trying to remain professional* I could suggest baby oil?”

Manager: “…or Vaseline?”

Me: “Or maybe vegetable oil?”

Customer: *nodding throughout* “So, Vaseline? Maybe I’ll combine it with baby oil?” *picks both off the shelf* “Thanks! I’ll let you know how it goes!”

Manager: “I’m not going to ask if those were personal suggestions of what to use!”

Me: “I just hope he doesn’t come back to tell us how it went!”

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