Venting About Piercings That Aren’t Vents

I’m pregnant and at the ‘nicely rounded’ stage. My parents are visiting, and my aunt (mom’s sister) has tagged along.

Aunt: *Gasps.* “Is… is that a piercing? On your belly button?!”

Me: “Yes. I’ve had a navel piercing since I was eighteen.”

Aunt: “Shouldn’t you take out that piercing so it doesn’t affect the baby’s breathing?”

That sheer stupidity surprised me into an instinctive and undiplomatic response of:

Me: “My navel’s not a friggin’ snorkel.”

My dad snort-laughed, and my mom was quick to change the subject.