Vegas Starts In London

, , , | Right | June 2, 2020

I’ve boarded a flight from London to Las Vegas — about ten hours flying time. I do this flight fairly frequently, so I am prepared; my meal is requested in advance, which of course means it comes to my numbered seat, and I have the flight essentials on my person, which include noise-cancelling headphones.

A group of women boards the flight and immediately, the noise level kicks up. One of the group starts asking all of the people around me if they are travelling alone, and if so, will they switch seats with one of their party so they can all sit together? This behaviour makes my blood boil, as most of the rest of the flight likely did everything by the book and now people are being hassled by this woman and her friends to move. They’re not being polite; they are being wheedling and irritating.

The woman gets to me to ask if I will move, but the passenger next to me sees the look on my face and jumps in.

Passenger: “We’re all together, sorry!”

Me: “Thanks for that. She was really getting on my nerves, and I can’t move easily, anyway, as my meal is coming to this seat.”

The ringleader of the group then does not stop talking in her elevated volume for most of the flight, including sharing a story about how she was on a flight once and a woman asked her if she would swap seats with her young son, so they could sit together. This clueless goon went on about how the woman should have planned ahead. Yes, really.

Another passenger eventually complains about the noise coming from this one empty vessel, and the stewardess speaks with her. This prompts the woman to speak even louder about this injustice, and how awful it is that some other passenger complained about her. She starts canvassing those around her — strangers — for support, asking if she has been loud on the flight. She gets to me.

Gobby Woman: “Excuse me, have I been loud on this flight? Have you been able to hear me? Only, the stewardess said someone complained about me and, you see, I’m hard of hearing, so I sometimes speak a little louder than normal and—”

I speak in my normal voice.

Me: “I’ve been watching movies the entire flight, with the volume turned up, wearing noise-cancelling headphones, and I have heard every word you have said. EVERY. WORD.”

She looked stunned and sat back and finally shut up for a while.


This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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