Vegan La Revolution!

(I’ve worked at several museums relating to the Revolutionary War, so I’m used to people coming in wanting me to affirm their various political agendas about firearms. This threw me for a loop though, as I was cornered in a completely unrelated exhibit about nature and philosophy.)

Patron: “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Of course.”

Patron: “What exactly is transcendentalism?”

(This is a pretty common question, and I do my best to explain it for him.)

Patron: “Oh, okay… So, like, are YOU a transcendentalist?”

Me: *laughs* “Well, to be honest, a lot of their talk goes over my head. But I guess I’m a bit of a tree-hugger like Henry Thoreau.”

Patron: “Tree-hugger? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Me: *a bit taken aback* “Oh, you know, just that I’m inspired by nature. Not that I chain myself to trees or anything.”

Patron: “Oh good, I thought that meant you were a vegan or something. I’m a hunter.”

Me: “I’m not vegan; that’s fine.”

Patron: “But I make sure to use every part of the animal.”

Me: “That’s good. I respect responsible hunters.”

Patron: “And the gun is good for self defense, of course.”

Me: “Okay.”

Patron: “Because the Revolution is going to happen again, you know.”

Me: “Sorry… I need to go help those people over there now.”