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Variety Is The Vice Of Life

, | Right | June 18, 2009

Me: “Here’s your drink. Are you ready to order your food, or would you like some more time?”

Customer: “No, I know what I want. I want the cheeseburger. That’s all.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Sorry; what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?”

Customer: “Whadya mean, what kinda cheese? Reg’lar yella cheese!”

Me: “Okay… and how well done would you like that?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “How well-cooked would you like the burger, sir?”

Customer: “What you talkin’ ’bout, how well-cooked?”

Me: “Would you like it cooked rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, or well done?”

Customer: “Now, look: when I go to [Fast Food Restaurant] and order me a burger, they don’t ask me if I want it cooked! ‘Course I want it cooked. I don’t want no raw meat. Now gimme a d*** cooked burger with some plain ol’ yella cheese!”

Me: “Yes, sir!”


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