It Was A Vampire; A Little Bird Told Me

, , , , , | Friendly | October 31, 2017

(It’s summer. We are visiting some friends out in the country for a picnic. There are kids, ages four, seven, and eight, running around playing, when all of a sudden they come running over, screaming and crying.)

Me: “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Four-Year-Old: “The vampire just tried to eat us!”

Me: “What do you mean, a vampire tried to eat you?”

Eight-Year-Old: “We ran around to the side of the house, and a vampire jumped down and tried to get us!”

Me: “Vampires aren’t real. Also, it’s the middle of the day. Even if they were real, they only come out at night.”

(I go to investigate, anyway. The second I step to where the porch ends along the side of the house, a pair of blackbirds dive-bomb me. I see a nest up in the supports and quickly leave, realizing I just upset a couple of parents eager to protect their babies.)

Seven-Year-Old: “See? It was a vampire! We told you!”

Me: “It wasn’t a vampire, but don’t go over there unless you want to get attacked by angry birds.”

Eight-Year-Old: “That’s how they come out in the day! At night, they turn into bats, but in the day they turn into birds!”

(No matter how much I tried to convince them otherwise, they were still convinced that they had been attacked by vampire birds. At least it kept them from going near the nest.)

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