V-Neck For Vendetta

My manager walks over, suppressing a smile. We’ve known each other so long that our conversations are about 99% sarcasm at this point:

Manager: “Okay, so I just spoke to the ultra-religious woman who just walked out with her husband?”

Me: “The one wearing the cross you could see from space? The one that stares daggers at me every time she comes in?”

Manager: “That’s the one. She complained about you and your “low cut top”.”

He did the air quotes.

Me: “I’m wearing a simple V-neck t-shirt.”

Manager: “I know. She said you were trying to seduce her husband, and if she still sees you working here next week, she’ll never bring her husband in here ever again.”

Me: “Oh, gee. So I guess in order to create a safe shopping environment for the bored-looking sixty-year-old dude who is so bored every time he comes here, he sleeps on the display couch, you’re gonna have to let me go, right?”

Manager: “Yeah, sorry. Good luck out there. Might want to cover those ankles and wrists on the bus home. Might send some old husbands wild.”