Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2014

(A former guest calls on the phone.)

Guest: “Hello. My son’s basketball team stayed there yesterday, and apparently, my son left his sneakers and all of his clothes in the room.”

Agent: “Ah, yes. I see a bag here the housekeepers dropped off. You will need to contact a next-day mail service and have them send us a pre-paid shipping box, and we will have them sent to you.”

Guest: “WHAT!? I HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!? You should just send them to me! Everywhere I’ve ever stayed at before sent things to me that I left behind! This is outrageous!”

Agent: “I’m sorry, ma’am. This is our hotel’s policy.”

(The guest slams down the phone but calls back five minutes later.)

Guest: “I’m sorry I got so upset. You see, I am a Christian missionary on a charity mission and I have very little disposable funds. Please call your boss and kindly ask him to pay for the shipping and tell him to consider it an act of charity. Thankyougodblessyoujesuspleaseplease.”

(I call the hotel owner, the most frugal man I have ever met and a devout Hindu.)

Owner: “Call her back and tell her we will be very happy to drop her son’s clothes off at a nearby homeless shelter and she and Jesus can feel very good about the clothes being given to people needier than herself. A wonderful act of charity on her part.”

(I tell the guest:)

Guest: “I’ll send the box…”


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