Using The FF Word

(I am shopping at a very popular lingerie store because there is a half-price promotion on my favorite underwear. I do not buy bras there, as they do not stock my size. I find what I want and go to the register to make my purchase.)

Me: “Just these, please.”

Cashier: “I see you’re buying underwear today. Would you like to find a matching bra?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? We can even do a fitting!”

Me: “No, I’m all set.”

Cashier: *suddenly aggressive* “It will only take a few minutes! You should get a bra.”

Me: “No, really, I’m not interested. I don’t need a new bra. Besides, this store doesn’t carry my size.”

Cashier: *rolls eyes dramatically* “Uh huh. Sure. We can find your size.”

Me: “What’s the largest size you have in stock?”

Cashier: *confidently* “40DDD.”

Me: “I wear an FF. So as I said, just the underwear, please.” *takes out credit card and holds it out expectantly*

Cashier: *after staring at my chest in silence for a few seconds* “Um, really? Where do you shop? Because let’s go measure you, I’m sure we fit your into OUR sizes. OUR sizes are different.”

Me: *nearly slams head on desk* “No! No, thank you. I was measured here last year, and was given a DDD. Your largest size. Five sizes too small. So I’m going to pass on buying something I know doesn’t fit.”

Cashier: *huffily* “Fine!”

(She snatches my card, processes the payment, and throws it back at me. Just as I’m leaving I hear her yell across the store to a new customer.)

Cashier: “You! You need a bra fitting!”

This story is part of the Underwear roundup!

Read the next Underwear roundup story!

Read the Underwear roundup!