“Used” That Excuse Before

(The phone starts ringing and I pick it up.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a watch that I’d like to sell; how much will you give me?”

Me: “Well, there’s no way for me to tell how much I can pay for ‘a watch’ as the price of a watch can vary from 2 to 20,000 euros. Also, we need to consider how old it is and how much it’s been used.”

Customer: “It’s basically new! It’s never been used before. How much will you give me?”

Me: “Even if it’s new I’d still need to know the brand and the model, and check on it, sir. You’ll have to bring it to our store to negotiate a price.”

Customer: “But I just want to know how much you’ll give me. I already told you it’s brand new; it hasn’t been used before. I don’t want to go there and then come back with the watch because you’re ripping me off.”

Me: “There’s nothing I can do over the phone. If you don’t come here with it, I can’t give you a price.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go there later.”

(He indeed came that same day, a few hours later. He hands me the watch’s box.)

Customer: “How much will you give me? It’s new.”

Me: “Well, let’s take a look at it, shall we?”

(I open the box and check the watch. It’s fully functional but it’s obviously been used a lot, as there’s plenty of scratches in the glass, hits here and there, and some stains of solid sweat.)

Me: “Man, this isn’t ‘new’ by any definition of that word.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve worn it once or twice, but that’s about it.”

Me: “Look, I’m not saying this is broken, but this is not a watch that’s been on your wrist once or twice. Look here, see this? This is sweat. When you use it continuously it solidifies here, but it takes a while to happen.”

Customer: “So what? Of course I’ve used it before! This is a pawn shop! You don’t expect me to sell something that’s actually unused, don’t you?”