Used Bookstores Need To Get Used To This

(I work at a secondhand bookstore, and it is obvious that we do not sell brand-new or never-even-opened books. And yet…)

Customer: *holds up a small stack of books* “Are these books new?”

Me: “No, sir, they’re used.”

Customer: *shuffles through his pile and holds up a book that was released quite recently* “But this one’s new.”

Me: “Yes and no. It’s secondhand.”

Customer: “But it is new.” *waves it in front of my face*

Me: *backing up slightly* “It might be a recently-released book, but it’s still secondhand.”

Customer: “Where are your other new books? I want brand new. Never been owned by someone.”

Me: “We’re a secondhand bookstore, sir. They’re all used.”

Customer: “Where are your new books?”

Me: *sigh* “We don’t have any kinds of books like that, sir. They’ve all been owned by someone else at some point.”

Customer: “What kind of bookstore are you?”

Me: “A used one, sir.”

(Wash. Rinse. Repeat.)