Use Your Words!

(I’m a police officer. One of my duties is patrolling the rest areas on the turnpike where I am often flagged down to answer questions. I am sitting by my car when a woman pulls up next to me and motions at me.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, can I help you with something?”

Woman: “Yeah! How far is [Shopping Center] from here?”

(This is an extremely popular shopping center that has signs every mile with arrows pointing the way and saying how many miles left.)

Me: “Just about ten miles that way. Just stay on this road; you can’t miss it.”

Woman: “Great, but how far away is it?”

Me: “Just as I said, ma’am, ten miles that way.” *points in the direction she needs to go*

Woman: *aggravated sigh* “I just want to know how far away it is from here. How hard is that for you to understand?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what else to tell you, as I already told you twice, so I don’t–”

(The backseat passenger window rolls down and the meek little voice of the woman’s six- or seven-year-old daughter cuts me off.)

Daughter: “I’m sorry my mommy confused you, officer. She wants to know how long it will take for us to get there.”

Woman: “Yes, what she said.”

Me: “Oh, no worries, ma’am. It’s only five minutes away. Just pull out of here and turn right, drive for about five minutes, and you’ll see it on your right; you can’t miss it.”