Use The Keyboard? How Quaint

, , , | | Right | May 17, 2019

(My friend’s mother owns a psychic shop, and he works there. They use his old laptop as the business computer, and it’s seen better days. I am there helping him fix it one day when a customer comes in.)

Customer: *to me* “You should talk to it!”

(I don’t realize he is talking to me as I don’t work there and have my back to him, so I ignore him.)

Customer: “Hey! Don’t ignore me!”

(I turn around, startled.)

Me: “Oh, hey. Sorry, man, didn’t know you were talking to me. I don’t work here.”

Customer: “You should talk to it!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “The computer! Talk to it!”

Me: *pause* “Well, the microphone’s been broken for about a year n—“

Customer: “No, no, I don’t mean into a mic; just talk to the computer!”

Me: “I… Wha—“

Customer: “The good vibes from your voice resonate with the energy field of the computer and fix all of the problems it might be going through.”

(I had absolutely no idea what to say, so my friend stepped in and directed his attention away from me, and I sneaked off with the laptop to the back room. Later, when I was leaving, the customer was waiting outside for me and got excited when he saw me through the window. I pretended to be adjusting a speaker in the corner by the door, then went back to the back room. Never saw him again.)

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