USB = Unbelievably Slow Brain

I worked in a gas station, and we also sold other stuff ranging from USB drives to cheap travel books.

During Thanksgiving weekend the USB drives went on sale from twenty bucks to ten. And once people found out about this, they went ape-s*** over these little 8GB USB drives (this was a while ago and I guess 8GB was a lot back then?).

All weekend I was selling these just about every transaction, now I know a guy who’d been in there the past two days buying them two at a time, I don’t know why he thought there was a limit but whatever.

Sunday rolls around a we’re out of USB drives, the man like clockwork comes in and goes to pick up two.

Customer: “Where are the USB drives? Why did you move them?”

Me: “We ran out about two hours ago. We don’t have any more in the back.” 

This is a frequent argument when we’re out of food or any of the random items we sell, so I have attempted to pre-empt this.

Customer: “Go to your next store down the road and get me two.”

Me: “That’s five miles away. I can’t just leave like that.”

Customer: *Suddenly screaming.* “You’re so useless!”

Manager: “Sir, if you’re not buying anything you need to leave.”

Customer: “Not until I get my f****** USBs!”

Manager: “Leave before I call the cops.”

Customer: “Make me, you dumb b****!”

My manager pats me on the shoulder which is our way of saying ‘push the little button that gets the cops here.’

A couple of minutes later, as he standing there screaming at us and trying to explain why we’re ruining his weekend the cops grab him and escort him out. All over some half-price USB sticks…